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heslop01
12 August 2009 @ 09:17 pm
It has been a long time sice i've updated! 

Literally, here has what has happened:

1. Someone who went to school with me died

thats the negative point, my positives are

2. I've turned 18

3. I got an iPhone - booyah

BUT 


RESULTS DAY NEXT WEEK .................................................. oh sh!t
 
 
heslop01
11 July 2009 @ 07:12 pm
You know that feeling you get when your really happy then all of a sudden life just bites you in the ass and you feel like a complete bag of crap? 

That's how i'm feeling now.


It all started with me coming home and just literally seeing myself in the mirror. Yeh it might sound stupid, but this is MY BODY and if I want to change it then I will do! 

I just wish that the friend bitch who went to the gym with me didn't hate me as she said so in a text message and then give me no reason for it.


*SCREAMS * 
 
 
heslop01
19 June 2009 @ 06:43 pm
After seven years, SATS, GCSEs and A-Levels, my time in secondary school is over. It's been a mixture of things, ups and downs. I went to drama club, had a good laugh, met new friends and shared my happiness. I had some downs too, got picked on, my sister's heart condition, my aunts cancer, my grandad's deaths. Then I picked myself up, dusted off and carried on through. I know it's a tough place, but I think I go there in the end. It's gonna be a hard thing to do in September to not have anyone around you that you know in university. I'll love my friends forever. I'm really gonna miss all of our good times, concerts, cinema, starbucks, study room, playing cards in the dining hall.

Goodbye secondary school,
it's been a long journey, but the road has come to end.



Year 13
Class of 2009
 
 
heslop01
16 June 2009 @ 08:39 pm
I'm starting to feel much happier right now.
I'm being myself
:D 
 
 
heslop01
09 May 2009 @ 07:06 pm
Wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to feel pain? I know for definite, that I would absolutely love that. If I didn’t have to put up with what I’ve put up with; then maybe I could once feel what it’s like to be fully happy and normal. But; I suppose we all have our flaws don’t we, we all have the one thing in our life that hurts us, for me, it’s the most obvious which is probably what a lot of people say, their look and weight, but, I’ve done drastic things which, I’m sorry, but, I was proud of; I just want this all to stop – I want to be normal and until I feel like I’m the person I want to be and that I’m normal, then I don’t think I can feel the way I want to. But, this is where the other side of a human comes from, being strong, so, with that in mind, I want to share an extract from a diary I kept and showed to my psychologist.

“I wish that I didn’t, but I have. It’s been 6 weeks since I last did it, but it have. I just want this to end, I want to have who I am back, but; I’m going to have to wait now – this is not me, I’m not proud to be who I am, I’m ugly. Really and truthfully without no doubt in my mind, I’m fat and ugly and until I get rid of this, then I’m not me. This is not who I am. Today was difficult, I ate my lunch, whilst wanting to hurl at the sight of me holding food, and I just continued making people think that I’m normal and that nothing hurts. But, I’m sorry, everything hurts and until you sort that out, it’ll keep on hurting. So I rose from my seat and went downstairs to the toilet, I had to make sure no one was there, and, placing my fingers in my mouth I started to throw up what I had just eaten. It hurt for the first time, but no, I felt like I was a pro in it, all you had to do was to keep it secret…”

However; mine isn’t secret now. I did keep it locked up inside me for 4 months, but, that was when I done it on and off. Doing it 5 times a week I snapped and had to tell, now all my friends now. The only problem is, I was comfortable with it and I still are not happy with what I looked like. This isn’t me and until I feel like I am who is perfect, then, obviously, neither life nor I is perfect. Right?
 
 
 
heslop01
27 April 2009 @ 08:35 pm
Yeh, so you probably would never get me going for this type of music and promoting it, but peeps, check out bonkers by Dizzee Rascal! It actually makes you bonkers! Yeah so, it's actually funny but an actual real song ... lol

Lorna, blesh, she actually said something like a rapper today and she done it without realising but I can't remember what it was ... damn

I am bonkerly bonkers about the fact that I have my coursework out of the way!!!


I have my 1st exam next week ... frig!


I'm going to see Joseph ... dreamcoast @ the Sunderland Empire next week!! XD WOOTSKIES!!



Add moi on twitter yo? ... http://twitter.com/Robbie_Heslop


Check it =] x
 
 
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: Bonkers - Dizzee Rascal and Armand Van Helden
 
 
heslop01
17 April 2009 @ 07:04 pm

LJpodcast.wma -
 
 
heslop01
06 April 2009 @ 06:23 pm
I fucking detest everything to do with school right now. I have so much coursework that I need to do and people need to get it into their thick heads that if I get an extension then so fucking what?


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 
 
 
Current Mood: bitchyPISSED OFF
 
 
heslop01
16 March 2009 @ 09:17 pm
i'm sorry.
 
 
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
 
 
heslop01
02 March 2009 @ 08:26 pm
Hi all! Here is a post of some Icons i've done tonight! They are all based around one particular subject, this one is butterflies.

Photobucket




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