2009 ... been a year of tears, tantrums, pain and some happiness.

1. I finished my A-Levels. These were challening in the end, I never thought they would be, but they were.
2. I lost all of my school friends basically, apart from 7 of them. I never thought that me being helpful and trying to be kind would be such a pathetic thing happen. What annoys me is, they don't even give a second to think how much i'm hurt. They didn't even let me talk, which doesn't shock me. The ones who still talk to me though, thank you.
3. University. I'm a student now, and well ... who'd thought it make it? I never thought I could, so i'm shocked at myself but very pleased at the same time.



Still ... I wish I could turn back time ... to where I was just me ...

ALL HAIL LADYHAWKE 










kthx  =]

Wow ... I think I forgot I had one of these ...

I am lovin' my life at the moment. My brother and sis in law had their daughter this morning which makes me an uncle! :D


and


I AM LOVIN' THE RAMONES ! (yeah, years behind ... I know)

Ok: So right now I am p'd off! I'm nearly losing my voice which sucks because .... well it just does k? I hate it :( This is like the second time in the last 2 months now that i've had a sore throat ... n0ob - whoever created sore throats .....

On "brighter" note: I was inspired by hayleyghoover on youtube to sign up to take part in NaNoWriNo. This is where you bascially have a month to write a 50 000 word novel ....

National
Novel
Writing
Month

I am just so tired at the moment: I have literally no energy inside of me .... running up 3 flights a stairs 10 times a night sure is keeping me "fit" I suppose.


Ok So: Back to NaNoWriMo ... I have decided to make a "fantasy" type novel for children (yay! :D) .... So lets see if I can be as good as the brilliant and loved J.K. Rowling :P 


If you'd like to see the excerpt then here you go!

 

( Chapter 1 )

 

I got told yesturday that i'll be doing evita at the Sunderland Empire! :D :D :D :D WOOHOO! 

As the title says, university is going amazing! I love every single moment of what has happened this week and every single person on my course is really friendly and all seem to be getting on together as one big group - which is fantastic! 

We had to devise a 7 minute performance for tomorrow which is loads of fun! 

I simply just love it so much! :D

I've chosen dance and music for my two choices to study from Feb :D

Stolen from Marina :) 


1. What curse word do you use the most?
fu*k

2. Do you own an iPod?
LOL er ... I have 4 .... a mini, a normal, a touch and one on my iphone

3. What person on your flist do you talk to the most?
butterflylove9 


4. What time is your alarm clock set to?
At the moment, it aint, pretty soon it'll be about 7 am

5. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?
never been kissed

6. Do you remember where you were on 11/9/01?
In primary school excited for my holiday to Florida the week after it ...

7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
Take them

8. What was the last movie you watched?
lol er ... twilight

9. Do any of your friends have children?
Nope

10. Has anyone ever called you lazy?
A few have

11. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep?
Nope


12. What cd is currently in your cd player?
" A tune a day for flute " ... lol

13. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
chocolate ... duh

14. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Nope

15. When was the last time you had Starbucks?
Last Saturday

16. Can you whistle?
Yip

17. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
personality

18. What are you looking forward to?
UNIVERSITY! :D 

19. Did you watch cartoons as a child?
too many

20. Do you own any band t-shirts?
Yeah

21. What will you be doing in one hour?
TV

22. Is anyone in love with you?
no

23. What was the last song you heard?
dat new new - kid cudi

24. Last time you cried?
last night :S lol

25. Are you on a desktop computer or a laptop?
laptop

26. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
No

27. What’s the weather like?
FREEEEEEZING

28. Would you ever date a girl/guy covered in tattoos?
Don't know

29. What did you do before this?
Helped my dad rewire my brother and sister-in-law's new house

30. When is the last time you slept on the floor?
Never

31. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
5

32. Do you eat breakfast daily?
Yes

33. Are your days fast-paced?
Yer

34. What did you do last night?
slept ...

35. Do you use sarcasm?
Noooooooooooooooo (that was sarcasm ;)) 

36. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
19 :|

37. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
Nope

38. Have you ever been to six flags?
Whaa?

39. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex?
I get along better with girls ...

40. Do you like mustard?
Yes

41. Do you sleep on your side?
Side and back.

42. Do you watch the news?
On occasions

43. How did you get one of your scars?
I split my head open falling down the stairs at dotty p's when I was a kid
For those who don't know "dotty p's" = " DOROTY PERKINS" ;)

44. Who was the last person to make you mad?
No one

45. Do you like anybody?
Of course

46. What is the last thing you purchased?
CD

47. What side of the heart do you draw first?
left

48. Can you dive without plugging your nose?
Yeah

49. What colour is your razor?
Blue

50. What is your blood-type?
Nooooo idea

51. Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
Oohhh ... Emma Watson <3

52. What is a rumour someone has spread about you?
too many lol

53. How do you feel about carrots?
Yum<3333333

54. How many chairs at the dining room table?
6

55. Which is the best Spice Girl?
Mel C!!! :D <3

56. Do you know what time it is?
8:06 pm

57. Do you know all the words to the Fresh Prince Theme Song?
Yeah

58. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
CRY 

59. What’s your favourite kind of gum?
Not bothered

60. T or F: All’s fair in love and war?
T

61. Do you have a crush on anyone?
No

62. Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning?
Yar

63. Do you like to sleep?
Sorta, I like awakeness too

64. Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings Time?
Those to the left of the centre of the US? 

It has been a long time sice i've updated! 

Literally, here has what has happened:

1. Someone who went to school with me died

thats the negative point, my positives are

2. I've turned 18

3. I got an iPhone - booyah

BUT 


RESULTS DAY NEXT WEEK .................................................. oh sh!t

You know that feeling you get when your really happy then all of a sudden life just bites you in the ass and you feel like a complete bag of crap? 

That's how i'm feeling now.


It all started with me coming home and just literally seeing myself in the mirror. Yeh it might sound stupid, but this is MY BODY and if I want to change it then I will do! 

I just wish that the friend bitch who went to the gym with me didn't hate me as she said so in a text message and then give me no reason for it.


*SCREAMS * 

After seven years, SATS, GCSEs and A-Levels, my time in secondary school is over. It's been a mixture of things, ups and downs. I went to drama club, had a good laugh, met new friends and shared my happiness. I had some downs too, got picked on, my sister's heart condition, my aunts cancer, my grandad's deaths. Then I picked myself up, dusted off and carried on through. I know it's a tough place, but I think I go there in the end. It's gonna be a hard thing to do in September to not have anyone around you that you know in university. I'll love my friends forever. I'm really gonna miss all of our good times, concerts, cinema, starbucks, study room, playing cards in the dining hall.

Goodbye secondary school,
it's been a long journey, but the road has come to end.



Year 13
Class of 2009

I'm starting to feel much happier right now.
I'm being myself
:D 

Wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to feel pain? I know for definite, that I would absolutely love that. If I didn’t have to put up with what I’ve put up with; then maybe I could once feel what it’s like to be fully happy and normal. But; I suppose we all have our flaws don’t we, we all have the one thing in our life that hurts us, for me, it’s the most obvious which is probably what a lot of people say, their look and weight, but, I’ve done drastic things which, I’m sorry, but, I was proud of; I just want this all to stop – I want to be normal and until I feel like I’m the person I want to be and that I’m normal, then I don’t think I can feel the way I want to. But, this is where the other side of a human comes from, being strong, so, with that in mind, I want to share an extract from a diary I kept and showed to my psychologist.

“I wish that I didn’t, but I have. It’s been 6 weeks since I last did it, but it have. I just want this to end, I want to have who I am back, but; I’m going to have to wait now – this is not me, I’m not proud to be who I am, I’m ugly. Really and truthfully without no doubt in my mind, I’m fat and ugly and until I get rid of this, then I’m not me. This is not who I am. Today was difficult, I ate my lunch, whilst wanting to hurl at the sight of me holding food, and I just continued making people think that I’m normal and that nothing hurts. But, I’m sorry, everything hurts and until you sort that out, it’ll keep on hurting. So I rose from my seat and went downstairs to the toilet, I had to make sure no one was there, and, placing my fingers in my mouth I started to throw up what I had just eaten. It hurt for the first time, but no, I felt like I was a pro in it, all you had to do was to keep it secret…”

However; mine isn’t secret now. I did keep it locked up inside me for 4 months, but, that was when I done it on and off. Doing it 5 times a week I snapped and had to tell, now all my friends now. The only problem is, I was comfortable with it and I still are not happy with what I looked like. This isn’t me and until I feel like I am who is perfect, then, obviously, neither life nor I is perfect. Right?

Yeh, so you probably would never get me going for this type of music and promoting it, but peeps, check out bonkers by Dizzee Rascal! It actually makes you bonkers! Yeah so, it's actually funny but an actual real song ... lol

Lorna, blesh, she actually said something like a rapper today and she done it without realising but I can't remember what it was ... damn

I am bonkerly bonkers about the fact that I have my coursework out of the way!!!


I have my 1st exam next week ... frig!


I'm going to see Joseph ... dreamcoast @ the Sunderland Empire next week!! XD WOOTSKIES!!



Add moi on twitter yo? ... http://twitter.com/Robbie_Heslop


Check it =] x

I fucking detest everything to do with school right now. I have so much coursework that I need to do and people need to get it into their thick heads that if I get an extension then so fucking what?


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 

i'm sorry.

Hi all! Here is a post of some Icons i've done tonight! They are all based around one particular subject, this one is butterflies.

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